It’s Kind of like the Movie Hackers, Only it Sucks Worse.
A little over a week ago the name and cast of the new James Bond movie was announced. The movie, entitled SPECTRE, is due out late next year. I am a huge James Bond fan and have loved the Daniel Craig movies (including the much maligned Quantum of Solace) and thought that Skyfall was the best modern Bond movie by a long shot. It put all the pieces of the classic Bonds back in place after the much needed retooling of Casino Royale and QoS, and set the stage for even better ones to come. And the best part is that SPECTRE is back and Christoph Waltz will (probably) be playing Ernst Stavro Blofeld. How cool is that?!?
Earlier this week however, as if on cue from the buzzkill police, hackers got ahold of an early script of SPECTRE and leaked it, along with a lot of problematic emails between SONY studio executives, and several unreleased movies. Now I am not going to get involved in a meditation on hacking in this column. Obviously hacking can be used for good and bad and this hack, although falling more on the bad side of things, is relatively mundane in the grand scheme of internet crime. Most of what has come out so far has just further cemented the general public’s view of Hollywood; that it is filled with crybabies, douchebags, and sycophants.
What concerns me is that nothing can be a surprise anymore. The internet, as great as it may be, is just one huge dick waiting to spoil everything. Now don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely avoided any articles that I think may allude to what happens in SPECTRE. I want most of it to be a surprise to me, but eventually some butthole is going to come up and say “hey man, can you believe that BLAH is going to happen in the next Bond movie?” and I am going to have to kick them in the balls, but it’s not going to matter because all the ball kicks in the world will never de-spoiler it at that point.
This happens with everything now. Your favorite band releasing a new album? Yeah well a demo version of it leaked and it sucks. That new comic you were picking up this week? All your lame-ass friends read an interview with the writer where he/she reveals the ending and they just told you because they thought you already knew. New Marvel movie coming out? Well that one really doesn’t work because they all have the same plot, but you get my drift.
Not only is it hard for something to surprise anymore, it seems like most people don’t even want that in their entertainment. It’s as if the “too cool” thing has taken over as the mainstream now. “Oh I already knew that was going to happen, it leaked like six months ago. Where have you been?” Well I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve been trying to stay away from idiots.
I listen to a lot of podcasts and read an article about one called Serial that was supposed to be really good. It had six episodes up at that point so I checked it out and the article was right; it is a very good show. It follows a journalist as she checks out the guilt or innocence of an incarcerated man who is serving a life sentence for a murder he was convicted of at the age of 19.
Little did I know that apparently EVERYONE else in the world was already aware of this podcast and in the ensuing weeks I saw articles claiming it was God’s gift to our collective ears, with just as many decrying it as irresponsible journalism built up like a TV show, and this is how all things media are now; over scrutinized to the minutia by people who are way more involved in these things than they should be. There are huge questions at the heart of Serial that are worth looking into but I doubt that it is going to bring podcasts into a new golden age nor is it the end of broadcasting as we know it. I hope that it achieves what it set out to do; bring a new light upon a case with a lot of questions and lingering doubts. At the end of the day, I don’t really care how the denizens of Reddit or Salon feel about something, be it SPECTRE or Serial.
I guess as I have gotten older, I care less and less about following things as they progress. I want to be able to be engrossed in an album or a movie first, not by the things that happened behind the scenes. That’s stuff I can read up on after the fact if I’m really interested. I look forward to a new James Bond movie, but I really want to know as little about it going into it as possible. That’s why a movie like Guardians of the Galaxy can catch me so off guard. I expected to be entertained by it but not as much as I was. Had I been keeping up with the spoilers in the forums of geeksplooge.com (if the domain is available it’s mine!), I might have known all the ins and out and been listening to the “Awesome Mix” already with all the other Marvel skrags, but instead, I was able to be surprised by how fun it was. Just like I hope to be surprised by what happens in SPECTRE, be it good or bad. I just hope Bond doesn’t surf a tsunami again.
Until next time…