3 Reasons it Sucks to Be a Female Superhero

Okay! You wanna be a badass superhero. You have the coolest powers in the multiverse. The only problem is you’re a female. You have to wear a crappy, totally revealing, one-piece outfit. That makes you look like a slut. The male superheroes don’t take you serious at all (even if you can move a planet with a single punch). Your villains (who are mostly female or mutated animals) are less respected than you are, and if, by some miracle, you do catch a break and get to team up with one of the male superheroes, it’s automatically assumed you’re hooking up.

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#3 IT’S A MAN’S WORLD.

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Your world is a dangerous place. A place full of world-conquering war mongers. And monsters the size of battleships. Under the constant threat of alien invaders. You show up to punch things and what happens? You are mocked with “Let Me Know When The ‘Real’ Heroes Show.” or with cat calls and “Hey, Baby, Nice Cape!”

#2. THE WEATHER.

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This may seem trivial at first. But think about it. If it’s raining, you can’t put a jacket on. Snowing out? No jacket. Being a girl superhero means no jacket, and no protection from the elements whatsoever. Sure, you may have thought ahead and decided that you would wear a cape. But that leads right up to…

#1 SEX APPEAL.

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Nice cape! This one really doesn’t have to be explained. Sex sells. Much as it pains you, if you want to get noticed, it has nothing to do with your awesome powers to punch planets. Nope. It’s  your god-given assets. If you want to be part of the “A” team, you have to use what God gave you.

For more stupidity, follow me on Twitter (@soyourazombie) and check out my not-stupid-at-all tumblr page, where you can see all the p.brain ideas my buddies and I are working on. 

Paul Brian DeBerry
About Paul Brian DeBerry (6 Articles)
Paul Brian DeBerry, professional fry cook and author of all things OK, was born in the bathroom of a sewage treatment plant. His likes include Petunias and UNO. He hopes that you like his p.brain stories as much as he likes “writing” them. Follow him on Twitter: @soyourazombie (personal) and @bigpantsme (work), and on his web page luckybubblegum.com and tumblr page bigpantsme.tumblr.com.

1 Comment on 3 Reasons it Sucks to Be a Female Superhero

  1. It can’t be all that bad. They are like, what, 28 years old forever?? Lois Lane looks just as good today as she did 75 years ago!!

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